I love Instagram and after spending way too much scrolling through the app (and giving myself RSI) I’ve realised there are so many Instagram Cliches that make me giggle. I’m guilty of a few of these cliches…there is only 9 as it’s Christmas and I would be rather scoffing ten gluten free mince tarts than thinking of another instagram cliche to make it to ten.
You know the instagram accounts that post shoefies…if you follow me then you’ve probably seen many pics of my pixie toes.
^^I’m the foot model in these pics
The I Look Amazing Photo
Yes you know what I’m talking about…I’ve walked to the top of a mountain and look and feel amazing…and I just need to post an incredible photo of myself with an inspirational quote to inspire others…hopefully one about reaching for the stars or climbing a mountain…
…but in reality, you’ve walked for three hours (should have taken two hours but your sister is instagramming the shit out of the hike and scaring off all the Kingfishers) and you’re really a hot and sweaty mess and wondering why you don’t look like one of the sanitary pad girls from the telly!
^^My sister Lisa having an instagram posing session during our hike
The Y Traveller
You know what I’m talking about, the travelling folks that do the whole Y pose (just search the #travel hashtag, they’re everywhere!)…just in case you were wondering what this pose looks like here is one I prepared earlier, my arms are a little too wide (I need to practice this pose more and probably should drop the handbag)…
…I’m still waiting for the Y folks to add M, C and A to their Instagram feed….I can’t bloody wait…and if they could dress like the Village People then I will follow and like your photos forever!
^^That’s my bottom
The Back Photo
Because there is nothing sexier than seeing your back…we totally don’t want to see your face…your back totally tells the story…the #dametraveler hashtag will give you plenty of back photos!
^^That’s Lisa giving it some sexy back
The Follow Me Traveller
Seriously @muradosmann is the best account there when it comes to the “Follow Me Traveller” photos and they have 3.7 million followers to prove it plus they were the originals…
…but of course everyone still does it including Kat and I who decided to do the follow me pose in Wellington! I cringe when I see these on instagram…CRINGE.
^^That’s the lovely Kat and my unpolished hand…please check out the ring placement
The Hat Traveller
You know what I’m talking about…the hat pose…
…and then there is the hat pose while holding the hat to your head…it was a rather windy day when we did this walk to be fair…I wasn’t trying to be instagram trendy (and my back is to the camera as I wasn’t looking hot like a Sanitary Pad girl and I was worried there might be a camel toe incident with my yoga pants…it was much safer for my back to be facing the camera)
^^The first pic is Lisa and the bottom one is me
The Coloured Wall Poser
Oh look, I found a great coloured wall to pose against (the leg against the wall is optional) and I’m going to instagram the shit out of it now…
…take a photo of me please and I will pretend that I’m leaning back against the wall with my face to the side looking into the distance thinking about world peace (but in reality my instagram brain is trying to calculate how many likes I’m going to get and if anyone else has spotted this wall before me)…I’ve failed in this photo by grimacing and looking at the camera…#instagramfail! I wear a hat as I had skin cancer removed my scalp…the joys of growing up in New Zealand ah.
This pic may be better…I’m probably thinking of what I’m going to eat next rather than world peace!
^^Just in case you were wondering, that’s me in both!
The Ice Cream Foodie
The Ice Cream pic…looking beautiful on a hot summers day…how many of these instagram skinny bitches actually eat the whole ice cream, that’s what I really want to know?
^^^I need practice…I’ve dribbled my ice cream all over my hand…and yes I then licked my hand…the feijoa ice cream was amazing…I’ve got no shame…I’m Miss Piggy and I forgot to paint my nails…another #instagramfail.
^^The gorgeous hand model is Kat and I’m the unpolished bird
The White Out Photo
You know the ones…the totally amazing photos of Paris however they filter the shit out of it to make it all look hazy white and you really can’t see anything…here is one that I prepared earlier…enjoy the view of Paris!
And please don’t get me started on the tit and arse instagram photos…seriously don’t make me get into a bikini to do an instagram tit and arse post because I will and it won’t be pretty. And let’s not forget about the strategically placed sunglasses photos, the yoga pose at sunrise / sunset photos, the luggage flat lays and the bloody coffee photos (I suffer from an instagram caffeine addiction on the weekend thanks to the number of kiwi brunchers I follow and I don’t even like coffee)
A big thank you to Kat and Lisa for partaking in my craziness…I love you ladies! And a big thank you for everyone that follows me on instagram…I’m guilty as charged for a lot of these Instagram Cliches and I love them…long may they continue.
What’s your favourite Instagram cliche or which one drives you crazy…spill your guts below!?
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